Only have a few friends? It's not because you're unlikable. It's because you're very, very smart.
At one time, I used to have a boatload of friends. In fact, one of my buddies recently told me how simple it is for me to make friends. At one time, that was probably true. But now-a-days, I'm not so confident in my friend making abilities.
Don't get me wrong – I can keep friends. Most of the folks I am close to have been friends for years. But if you compare the number of buddies I had just five years ago to what I have now, there would be a big difference. That's because I have fewer friends that I used to.
That's why I'm taking comfort in a fairly recent study published in the British Journal of Psychology that suggests smarter people do better with fewer friends.
The lead researchers, Nornam Li and Satoshi Kanazawa, evolutionary psychologists in England, discovered that, while most people's level of happiness increased in relation to a reduction in population density, people who are highly intelligent are much happier when they’re not chilling out with friends.
Here’s a direct quote from the research:
“More intelligent individuals experience lower life satisfaction with more frequent socialization with friends”.
A piece in the Washington Post offered insight from an expert on this topic. Her name is Carol Graham and she’s a Brookings Institute researcher who examines the relationship between economics and happiness.
According to Graham, “The findings suggest (and it is no surprise) that those with more intelligence and the capacity to use it … are less likely to spend so much time socializing because they are focused on some other longer term objective.”
When you think about it, the findings of the study make sense. Extremely smart people are always working on changing the world, usually in an introverted way. The super smart don’t want to spend hours each day chatting it up with friends. Instead, they are busy pursuing their goals.
After all, time is of the essence for brainiacs. Maybe that's why they'd rather spend time alone and figure out solutions to serious problems instead of hearing about the drama going on in their friend’s lives?
Here’s what Ann Clarkson – the communications director for MENSA in the UK – had to say about the study, as reported by the website, Broadly:
“Very intelligent people can sometimes feel isolated from those around them just because they think and see the world differently. Finding someone else who processes information as you do can be difficult if your brain works the same as only two percent of the population.”
So there you have it folks. If you are the type of person who only has a handful of friends, it’s not because people don’t like you. Instead, it’s a consequence of your high intelligence!
Well, at least that’s what I’m telling myself.
