First Same Sex Experience Hacks
By Men's Variety Staff
So, you’ve decided to explore your sexuality and try a same sex relationship or same sex experience. That’s great! You might be feeling nervous or shy about it, especially if you haven’t been very open about your curiosity with other people.
That’s okay. There’s no need to worry about labeling yourself. Just move forward with what you’re feeling in a safe, consensual, and respectful manner and you’ll do just fine. To sweeten the pot, here are some tips for men who are going gay for the first time.
1. Keep it Real
Assuming that you’ve already found someone that you like or maybe you finally feel ready to start same sex dating, you should be honest with yourself and others. If you want just a casual hook-up or a romantic relationship, you should be upfront and honest about your expectations and intentions.
Gay men appreciate honesty. If you’re still figuring things out and you’re down to keep it casual, your new crush will likely go along if that’s what’s agreed upon from the onset. And don’t pretend to be some hardcore gold-star gay if you’ve never done it before. Keep it real so that everybody enjoys the experience. It can be so much fun to seduce a straight man into gay sex.
Related: 10 Hacks for Getting With a Straight Guy
2. Experiment to Find Your Role
A common misconception is that all gay men are the same. “They’re all bottoms, aren’t they?” WRONG. Not every gay man likes to be penetrated. Some guys are designated hitters. They only like to be tops. There is nothing wrong with being either one. So, don’t bring any shame or baggage with you about which role you’re taking in your first gay experience.
You might just want to start out with receiving oral first or with a playful handjob. Things can progress from there if you’re unsure. If you’ve had straight sex before, then you might want to try being on top. That’s fine, just remember to go slow and use lubrication.
You could try bottoming, too. You have no idea the pleasure it could bring you. The male G-spot is the prostate gland, so for a powerful release you should try some anal play to see how you like it. The most important thing to remember is that there are lots of ways to enjoy sex with a gay man.
Related: Gay Gagging: Why It Happens
3. Have No Shame
After your first gay sexual experience, you might have conflicting emotions and thoughts. There’s no expectation for you to suddenly proclaim that your sexual orientation has changed. You can still be curious, but you shouldn’t be ashamed of your first gay sexual experience.
That doesn’t mean that you need to tell the world about it. However, you should consider how your partner feels after sex. Just because you have conflicting thoughts about it, you shouldn’t make your partner feel like your dirty little secret.
In other words – don’t just ghost them after getting off. Have some respect and be sure to talk with them about what happens next. You’re probably used to a girlfriend who gets all clingy after sex, but gay guys aren’t necessarily like that.
Your new buddy might just give you a fistbump and a bottle of water and say, “see you later.” He’s a guy, remember. If you want him to keep things private, then he will if you don’t make him feel like the sex toy that you keep in the closet.
Related: My First Gay Experience Happened in Military School
4. Know the Lingo
If you’re just starting out dating gay men, then there can be lots of confusion around the terminology. It’s like a whole different language. Top, bottom, breeding, bears, twinks, pups, dom, sub, otters, bears. OH MY!
If you’re looking for love on gay dating apps like Grindr, then you’re bound to run into some of this terminology that you don’t quite understand. Before you start throwing around gay buzz words, you should ask gay men what they mean. Just say that you’re curious and you want to know.
Avoid misunderstandings by learning what these words mean and what context to use them in. If you’re dating, this is how you avoid getting the wrong type of candy in your surprise egg. There is a rainbow inside of the rainbow and there’s so much variety in the gay dating scene. So, ask questions about what the commonly used words mean before you start using them.
5. Be OK with Messy
Well, there’s no getting around it…well, yes….but no…sex can get messy. In this regard, sex with same sex partners is a lot like sex with people of different sexual orientations. If you’re doing oral, then you will encounter semen and if you’re doing anal, then you might encounter some new types of fluids that you’ve never encountered before.
It’s all natural. You’re human beings, afterall. To minimize messes, you might want to consider using an enema. Lots of gay guys douche before bottoming. You might also want to tidy up down there with a manscaping trimmer.
These steps aren’t required, but it’s a good way to keep the experience sexy without having to clean up some aftersex messes. Some guys are no fuss and just go all in and clean up afterwards. It’s entirely up to you, but you’ll eliminate some of the anxiety about your first gay sexual experience if you prepare beforehand.
Related: First Time Bottom: 10 Anal Tips for Gay Men
Summing it Up
Your first sexual experience with a gay man can be awesome and enjoyable. It can also be a bit awkward. You shouldn’t rate your performance or make any decisions about your sexuality based on how you did the first time around.
Be open and honest about what you want. Treat yourself and your partner with respect and have fun. Do some experimenting to find out what you like the most. Some guys are versatile and like being tops and bottoms. Some guys only like receiving oral. Some guys only like a specific type of gay man.
You’ll find your preference soon enough and you’ll learn a whole new lexicon of gay buzz words in the process. Be safe and welcome to the party.