Alternative Approaches to Emotional Trauma
Can your favorite cam girl also be your therapist? Should women even attempt to tackle complex problems stemming from toxic masculinity and deficits in men’s wellness? These are questions that a new breed of female therapists and counsellors are facing. Oh, and they’re also getting naked.
You might not think that someone who satisfies your sexual needs can also help you heal from emotional trauma. Yet, the two can sometimes be connected. Men often crave sexual satisfaction only to find that there is still a gaping emptiness inside of them.
Well, COVID-19 has certainly revealed to men that there are tremendous shortfalls in their emotional wellbeing, especially when it comes to intimacy and companionship. The isolation of mandatory lockdowns has forced men to re-evaluate their needs and confront their shadow selves head on.
Some men are even turning to unconventional methods to supplement real intimate connections. For example, an artificial intelligence chatbot named Xiaoice is currently dating millions of young, lonely men in China.
Related: Should You Start Dating an AI Partner?
Then, there’s OnlyFans – a social media site that seems to have miraculously formed out of nowhere as a salve for socially distant sexual connections. OnlyFans has grown exponentially in recent years. It allows content providers to monetize their engagement. Mostly, users pay for content of a sexual nature and it has grown from 7 million users in 2019 to more than 50 million users in 2020.
There’s all sorts of kinky content on OnlyFans. It’s a veritable rabbit hole of fetishes and sexual preference specialists. Foot worship, BDSM, twerking, you name it, there’s someone on OnlyFans serving it up. Creators fulfill user fantasies and perform everything from sexy dances to just barking and behaving like a dog. (Yeah, that’s a thing on OnlyFans.)
Yet, there is a small corner of OnlyFans where you can find a super hot school teacher that will give you a sexy strip tease in exchange for learning lessons about resolving your childhood trauma. It might sound bizarre, but it certainly did get my attention.
Men’s wellness cam girl Wells isn’t your run-of-the-mill exhibitionist. She’s a community organizer, social justice activist and personal development coach. Her platform is called Well Taught and Wells describes it as “a community where men can enjoy the benefits of personal development and mental wellness without the stigma of counseling or the overt masculinity and performance-crazed rhetoric of men’s health platforms.”
I put Wells’ theory to the test by going on YouTube and searching the term – men’s motivation. The first video that popped up was a motivational montage of speeches from David Goggins. He’s an alpha male, retired Navy SEAL, over-achieving badass who has an indomitable will to succeed under adverse conditions. His motivational video prompted me to confront the “little bitch” inside of me and “stay hard”.
Point taken, Wells.
Now, there is some scientific evidence that suggests that men respond better to negative reinforcement when it comes to short-term gains. That’s why military drill sergeants yell in your face and call you names. It’s designed to jar you out of your old habits and get your attention. It’s mostly an act, but some men don’t respond well to this type of motivation. They wilt instead of bloom.
I can see how a community like Well Taught can be a welcomed departure from the “man-up” approach that some guys experience when they seek help for coaching, motivation, and their mental and/or emotional needs.
Yet, this type of tough guy wellness therapy is going out of favor. There are an increasing number of men’s groups and mental health practices that refute toxic masculinity and offer a much more tender approach to healing trauma and finding success. And to be sure, you can find traditional counselling online at places like Better Help.
Admittedly, it’s difficult for men to find the middle ground when seeking help with their emotional inadequacies. You’ve got the alpha male trainer on the left and bitter feminists who don’t fully understand the male psyche on the right.
There’s a quote from Julia Roberts that I often come back to. “Women, you are not rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It’s not your job to fix him, change him, parent or raise him. You want a partner not a project.”
Thanks for the support, Julia.
