5 Quiet Positions That Won’t Wake Your Roommates

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Here's how to not wake your roommate

Most of us have own ideas about what makes us a star in the sack. If we were to follow what we see on some videos, it would seem the louder, the better.

But not everyone likes making a bunch of noise. Or maybe more to the point, not everyone has the luxury of getting all loud, such as those of us who have roommates.

The good news is that keeping things quiet doesn’t mean you have to ditch the fun. In fact, checking the theatrics at the curb might even enhance the experience.

“Studies show, at the core, the best sex is about the connection between the people involved,” says LA Based sex coach, Henry Jones. “Being mindful of a roommate while sharing intimacy can help two people focus on one another in positive ways.”

Eye contact, focused breathing, and sensual touch are all essential elements of intimacy. And as it turns out, none of them require us to make much noise.

Here then are five sex positions to help dial up the fun and keep the volume down when you have a roommate.

time slows down couple sheets

1. Missionary

This old standby – missionary – can be a wonderful way to get it on without making much noise, so long as you make sure to slow things down.

Try grinding instead of thrusting. In this way, you avoid the distinctive “slap” that is a dead giveaway of you know what. And while it sometimes gets a bad rap, missionary also offers an extra perk for bottoms. “When you add close body movement to intercourse, you often get more anal stimulation,” says Jones.

2. Spoon insert

Are you a fan of spooning? If the answer is yes, you wouldn’t be alone. A lot of people enjoy cuddling. If you dig it, why not try spoon inserting?

Sometimes referred to as the King of “lazy Sunday sex positions” spooning is ideal for sex on the quieter side. Have your mate lay on their side. Lube up and then snuggle up from behind.

You can then enter them without much thrusting in a very affectionate, stimulating way. Obviously, the person you are with will need to be ready to go (meaning cleaned out).

3. Stand and enter

One of the most common causes of noisy sex is a squeaky bed. If you’re looking to stay quiet, think about getting it on outside the sheets.

Have your mate station their palms against the wall. You can enter them from behind or crouch down and do something you’re your tongue. Should your mate be a moaner, offer a clean pair of socks to stuff in their mouth.

4. Floor squats

The name of this one gives it away. Lay flat down on the floor. Lube up your sausage (or have them blow it up with their mouth) until you are nice and firm.

Then, take some lube and get yourself nice and ready. The rest is easy. Have them crouch down and start bouncing.

Should you happen to be extra-large, consider using an numbing lube to help with pain. This can help cut down on yelling; something you don’t want to do with a roomie.

5. Classic 69 position

We’re 99% sure you know what this position is all about because it’s been around since forever.

But just in case you don’t.

The “69” is where two people align themselves so that each person's mouth is near the other's genitals, each simultaneously performing oral on the other.

When you think about this one, it’s obvious to see why quiet is the name of the game – both people’s mouths are occupied.

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About Rico Woods 32 Articles
Rico is a DC based freelance writer who pens pieces about culture, society and current events. As an out CIS gender man, look for blog posts that are bizarre, fun and sometimes "out there".