Learn gay men should use an enema and douche before bottoming
Looking for anal douche tips for gay men who bottom? Do you want to properly clean yourself out good before butt play? Are you hoping to find a step by step enema guide with recommendations?
If you’re answering yes to these questions, you wouldn't be alone. Many gay men, particularly first time bottoms, seek out guidance on the Internet regarding these issues.
I’ve written this anal douche guide for gay men to act as a comprehensive “go to” source so that you can learn how to best prepare yourself with an enema for anal play.
Here’s what you’ll learn:
- A working definition of anal douching.
- The pros and cons of douching with an enema.
- Why it’s important to use an enema before anal play.
- Some basic medical concerns related to douching.
- The physiology of your anus and how rectum works.
- How your digestive system works.
- Optimal Douching Times
- Types of anal douches used by gay men with instructions.
- How to clean your enema
- The best time to douche.
- Dietary information for the best gay bottom experience
- Douching Don’ts
- Gay enema myths
- Gay bottom poll
What is Anal Douching?
Douching, in its purest form, is the process pushing fluid into the lower part of the rectum that is responsible for holding and eliminating fecal matter.
Using an enema, the water dislodges poop and allows it to pass through the rectum and out of your body. Generally speaking, there are three types of douches. All are designed to shoot water at a high pressure up the anus for fecal removal.
The three primary types are:
- Bulbs with elongated noses (enemas)
- Shower apparatus systems (shower enema)
- Water bag douche
Further down in this article, I’ll give you an overview of each with personal experiences, thoughts and reflections. For now, let’s continue our anal cleansing journey.
Why Should Bottoms Use a Douche or Enema (Pros)
Before moving forward, it’s important to establish the need for an enema in the first place. In other words, why douche at all? Here are some reasons you might want to consider:
Reasons for gay men to douche:
- Cleans anal canal and avoids “messy moments”.
- Makes the bottoming experience more enjoyable.
- Allows for butt play that goes beyond bottoming.
- When douching properly, an enema can feel good.
On this particular point, men who identify as tops have repeatedly shared that their major pet peeve is when bottoms don’t properly clean themselves out.
When you think about all that is involved with taking on the bottom role, it kind of makes sense. And there’s something to be said about regular, healthy bowel movements. Mother nature can only do so much.
Later on in this article, I’ll give you some tips on how to maximize cleanliness through diet that works in conjunction with douching.
Reasons Bottoms Shouldn't Douche (Cons)
To be fair, there are valid arguments against douching for bottom men. The main reasons relate to health and STI prevention.
Other reasons include:
- Potential interference with gastrointestinal functioning.
- Possible medical concerns (see below).
- Creating a reliance upon enemas for bowel movements.
Is it Safe to Use an Enema?
Many gay men who bottom wonder if using an enema is a smart idea. It’s a perfectly natural question when you think about it. After all, you are sticking a douche up your butt in order to clean it.
Here’s the truth. There hasn’t been enough research on this topic to make a definitive statement either way. The main concerns about douching include:
- Removing the protective layer of mucous from the lining of the anus.
- Irritation of the anal wall which may cause tears.
- Overuse of enemas may disrupt the normal cycle of bowel movements.
Anal Douching, Gay Men and HIV Concerns
The primary concern for men who use an enema before bottoming is potential damage to the anal wall. Here, I’m talking about the plastic head (long nozzle) of the enema scratching your rectal lining.
To avoid this from happening, it’s important to use the right type of enema while making sure it is properly lubed up. When you first push an enema up your butt, you’ll feel it go in.
But after about 1.5 inches in, you won’t feel much at all. That’s because your anus doesn't have pain receptors. In some ways that’s good for bottoming. But for douching, it can be problematic because you could accidentally cause a tear.
As we continue, I’m going to make recommendations for both the type of enema you should use and lube to minimize problems while maximizing pleasure.
I’ll reiterate again there really isn’t enough data about enema use and STI’s to make declarative statements. That’s why minimizing your risks is the best approach; similar to a top wearing a condom for penetration.
The general consensus is that douching for gay men is fairly safe. And new research from the International Rectal Microbicide Advocates suggests that use of an anti-microbial agent for douching may act as a prevention approach for STI’s.
Obviously, special care needs to be used when cleaning your anus out for play. The process shouldn’t be rushed.
Ive been douching for years and have never experienced any problems – not even once. But I’ll also say that I always allow myself enough time to complete the process.
Anal Physiology: How Your Rectum Works
Since we are talking about the anus, enemas and douching for bottom men, it might be helpful for you to have a broad overview over your colon and rectum.
A lot of guys don’t know this but the outer area of the anus is filled with sensitive nerve endings. Inside of your hole, there are two small rings that are responsible for opening and closing.
- Outer sphincter
- Internal sphincter
As a bottom, you have the ability to control the tightening of your outer sphincter. The inner ring, however, is completely involuntary.
All of this relates to douching because knowing how the inside of your butt works can help you with understanding the various sensations you will feel when you clean yourself out.
Water Absorption and Your Anus
The lining of your anus is designed to absorb water. I mention this because when you shoot h20 up your butt, it can cause your blood pressure to increase.
If you have a history of heart problems, kidney issues or other medical challenges, it’s probably better to avoid douching until you speak with your doctor.
Types of Anal Douches with Recommendations
Previously, I mentioned there are three primary types of douches that are used by bottoms to clean themselves out. I’m going to walk you through the bulb enema method in exhaustive detail because that’s the one most guys use.
The shower enema and bag douche work in similar ways. But realistically, most men use a bulb because it’s practical, portable and easiest.
Bulb Douche (Best Enema Choice)
Bulb douches are the most widely used type of enemas for guys who bottom. I personally use the Raneu kit (see Amazon).
- The nozzle is rounded and prevents cuts and nicks.
- The bulb apparatus holds plenty of water for cleaning. This is a distinct advantage over its competitors.
- The elongated nozzle goes far enough up the anus to dislodge poop.
- Holds up to 10 ounces of liquid.
- Comes with a small tube of lube to put on tip to help with insertion (see point #4 below).
You can order it directly from Amazon and have it mailed right to your home.
Guys, I’m here to tell you that bulb type douches are the easiest to use and least expensive. This douche usually comes in two parts: (1) The Bulb and; (2) Nozzle. To put together, you simply screw the nozzle onto the bulb and you’re done.
How to use a bulb douche Step by Step
I’m going to walk you through how to use the bulb enema step by step so that you can clean yourself out good. I’d like to pause for a moment and say that if you are preparing yourself for guy riding activities, I highly recommend you read my other guide: How to bottom for the first time for gay men
OK, let’s take a look at the steps.
1. Be near your toilette
This point may seem obvious but you’ll want to be near your commode during the douching process. The reason is because the “urge” to go hits all of us differently. For some, it’s right away. For others, it can take a few minutes.
2. Rinse off your enema
Even if you are pulling your enema right out of the box, make sure you rinse it off. That’s because dust and other particles likely have accumulated on it.
3. Fill enema with warm tap water
For this step, you’ll want to make sure the water temperature is warm. Don’t use hot water or you could get burned. Cold water is also not suggested because it may cause your sphincters to tighten.
Also under this point, it is advised to not use soap. The reason being is that most soaps contain harsh, chemical agents that burn the lining of your butthole and cause irritation.
If, however, you insist on using some type of cleaning agent, I highly recommend Natural Way Organics Liquid Soap. It has zero chemical additives, no artificial coloring and no fragrances. All you need is one drop – no more.
Now take the enema bulb and fill it 2/3 of the way up with the warm tap water. Afterwards, screw the nozzle onto the bulb tightly.
4. Lubricate the Nozzle
Before insertion, it is very important to make sure the nose of the enema is properly lubricated. Remember, the anus doesn’t create lube on its own.
I personally use a silicone based lube made by Gun Oil (check Amazon for pricing). I like this lube because it is not sticky and lightweight.
Using your fingers, take a little bit of the lube and coat the upper 2/3rds of the nozzle.
5. Lubricate Your Hole
I can only speak for myself but I have found that it helps to also put a few drops of lube on my finger and gently coat the outer areas of my anus. All I can say is that it makes for better insertion.
If you really want to help move things along, it might not hurt to pick up a lube launcher (visit Amazon). What I like about this device is that it helps to coat the inside of your rectum with lubricant so that when you insert the nozzle, things go smoothly.
Also, the launcher also helps stool pass out of your anus much easier.
6. Insert Nozzle Into Your Butt
There are a number of ways to go about insertion. Probably the most effective approach is to do it while on all fours. This allows gravity to do most of the work for you.
- Slowly push the nozzle of the enema into your butt. Make sure it’s inserted approximately 2/3rds inside.
- Gently squeeze the base and apply enough pressure so that the water begins to flow into your anus.
- When you are done, tighten your sphincter slightly and slowly pull the nozzle out. This will prevent seepage and backflow. No matter what, don’t let go of the bulb.
Some men prefer the side method approach. Here, you simply lay on your side and insert enema inside of your butt. The drawback, however, is potential leakage.
7. Hold as Long as Possible
Once the warm water is inside of you, it won’t take long to start feeling pressure. The longer you can hold it the better.
Once the time is right (anywhere for 30 seconds to several minutes), you’ll know it’s time move to the toilet and let it all out.
8. Squatting on the Toilette
Believe it or not, I’m putting directions here because there are several key points that need to be mentioned. First, avoid anything that causes you to strain. I can’t emphasize this point enough.
I recommend you simply sit on the toilette and do some light reading as your rectum empties itself. The water from the initial enema may take some time to pass through.
It is completely normal to experience gas and bloating as you sit on the commode. If you need to stand up for a moment and then sit back down, do so.
Remember, you are pushing a combination of h20, air and poop through your anus. The elimination process isn’t always instant.
Once you no longer feel the urge to go and are confident you’ve let out all that’s up there (so to speak). Move to the next step.
8. Repeat Douching Again
I recommend douching at least twice prior to any bottoming activities. That’s because your goal should be to “run clear”. There should be no brownish colored water coming out if you do it right.
It often takes two and sometimes three cleansings to make sure your anal canal is free of any poop. Just being honest.
I’ll cover this more in a bit but for now, it’s important to realize that using an enema and properly preparing can be time consuming.
Personally speaking, I always allow a minimum of 2-hours before I ever sit on another guy’s rod. That allows plenty of time for me to prepare and avoid surprises.
When you’re confident you've washed out your butt canal, it helps to wipe your anus with something other than toilet paper. That’s because TP doesn’t really “clean” at all.
Instead, using a pre-moistened wipe that is specifically designed for guys. My personal favorite is Dude Wipes, which you can buy directly for Amazon.
Tip: Keep the Dude Wipes near the area you’ll be bottoming. Accidents happen, even when you think you’ve done everything right.
If you have time, make sure you read the following post on how to wipe your butt for men. It’s got information that is very valuable.
10. Take a shower
Once you’re sure you’ve cleaned completely yourself out, the last step is simple. Hope in the shower and rinse off.
For this point, I highly recommend that you do the following:
- Bend over and allow a strong stream of water to wash your outer anus. This will remove any residue, mucous, etc that may be present.
- If you use soap, I encourage you to consider natural products only to avoid irritation. The previously mentioned organic soap is an excellent choice.
Shower System Douche (Second Best Choice)
Should you choose, there are professional shower enemas on the market that are high quality. One of the best ones you can buy is from the folks at Clear Stream (see Amazon for pricing).
It includes four different tips, which allows for optimal cleaning. This particular type of douche is often used by guys who consider themselves serious power bottoms.
There are drawbacks to this approach. First, I’m not a fan of shower systems because the pressure can be hard to control. Second, the cleanup process takes time because there are more parts to clean. Third, shower enemas aren’t all that portable.
If you know for sure you will be bottoming at your place because it’s the norm, the shower system douche may be a good choice.
Enema Bag (Worst Choice)
I won’t spend a lot of time on this one except to say that enema bags are most often used in hospital settings. Unless you are planning on hooking up in a medical ward, there’s really no reason to get this. If you would like to see one, here is an example from Amazon.
How to Clean Your Enema
Once are done using your enema, it’s important to immediately clean it. Running water over it is not sufficient. I’ll quickly walk you through enema cleaning steps.
FYI: These directions apply to the bulb enema mentioned earlier because that’s what most guys use.
1. Disassemble the enema.
2. Rinse nozzle and base under running water
2. In a clean bowl or sink, pour 2 cupfuls of hydrogen peroxide and 1 cupful of organic soap into basin of water.
3. Manually wash nozzle and base.
4. Thoroughly Rinse both parts under water again to soap and peroxide.
5. Place both parts on a paper towel and allow to air dry.
When in the best time to Douche?
There has long been a debate about how much prep time is really needed before bottoming for a top. Here’s the deal – there’s no definitive answer.
Based on my own personal experience, combined with conversations I’ve had with other guys who are into anal penetration over the years, I can give you some basic guidelines that may be helpful.
Douching Preparation Suggestions
- Allow up to two hours at a minimum to prepare.
- If you haven’t been having regular bowel movements, allow even more time.
- If you cleaned yourself out early in the day, don’t assume it will last you the duration. That’s because your gastrointestinal system is constantly digesting food products and creating chyme.
- If you have a history of GI problems, such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome, 3 hours is suggested.
Eating, Bottoming and Douching
May guys wonder about the role of food, digestion and douching. A common question is:
How much time should pass before eating my last meal and bottoming?”
I’ll level with you guys – there’s no universal agreement here. That’s because all of us have different metabolic rates and digestive speeds.
Most experts on gastrointestinal functioning believe it takes between 6-8 hours for food to fully digest and turn into poop. But I’m here to say that depending upon what you eat, it can take much longer.
Certain foods take longer to digest than others. For example, if you eat any type of processed foods, it’s going to gum up your digestive track. Low fiber foods will do this as well.
Guidelines for Eating and Bottoming
The longer you have between your last meal and the time you engage in anal play, the better.
If you know early in the day that you will be bottoming later that night, it’s OK to eat but I’d allow a six-hour window just in case. Clear soups and high fiber fruits are ideal.
Here are foods I would totally avoid:
- Dairy products
- Red meats of any type
- Chips and nuts
- Low fiber foods
- Fried foods
Bottoming, Enemas and Constipation
Do you have a history of being constipated? Has this problem interfered with your ability to ride men? You aren’t alone at all. I’ve also struggled with this issue over the years.
All of us get backed up at one time or another. But for some folks, it can be a chronic problem. If you are looking for natural ways to deal with this issue, I highly encourage you to read the article linked below that contains 5 powerful tips.
Natural Ways to Encourage Bowel Movements
Over the years, I’ve learned that if I want to have a healthy bowel movement (particularly before bottoming, I need to pay attention to my diet.
We don’t hear about this often enough so I’m going to mention here. Certain foods need to be a mainstay of any bottom man. Here, I am talking about high fiber fruits, vegetables and legumes.
All of these help to form bulky, solid stool that will help you pass poop through your body faster. What’s more, when it comes time for you to douche, you’ll have a much better experience.
One way to make sure you’re taking in healthy sources of fiber is to make probiotic foods part of your daily diet. I’ve linked an article on this topic that I encourage you to read below.
Laxatives, Enemas and Gay Bottoming
You may be wondering if it’s OK to use a laxative before bottoming. Honestly guys, I’m here to say that if at all possible, you should avoid using any type of laxative.
Not only are these loaded with chemicals, laxatives aren’t really a cure for the root of your problem. Plus, some products make your gas smell really bad and cause diarrhea.
Unless your doctor has told you to use a stool softener or laxative, you are far better off reaching for something else. See next section.
Natural Bulking Agents to Help Bottoms
Let’s face it, most of us don’t get nearly enough fiber. Even guys who live fairly regimented lives with a focus on healthy eating struggle with this.
If you can relate, I want to recommend a product to you that many have found immensely helpful. Specifically, I’m talking about Pure for Men (see Amazon).
It’s a 100% natural dietary supplement in pill form that contains psyllium husk, chia and flaxseed. Combined, these help to solidify stool and help it pass through your digestive track.
I personally use it and have found it to be amazing. You simply take 2 capsules, twice daily and drink plenty of water. After several days, your digestive system will begin to regularize and create solid, meaningful and substantive stool.
I can only speak for myself but what I like about it is that Pure for Men got my body synchronized to go at around the same time each day. In this way, it worked with my circadian rhythm.
Yes – you will still need to douche if you use Pure for Men but I’m here to tell you it makes the cleaning process much easier!
I’m going to list several “Don’ts” regarding douching with the hope of discouraging you from engaging in any of the following.
- Don’t use an empty plastic bottle because you’re in a rush. It could tear your anal lining.
- Don’t continue use of an enema if you see the presence of blood.
- Don’t use an enema for douching unless it has been properly cleaned.
- Don’t use anti-bacterial soaps to clean your enema because these types of cleaning agents are now banned by FDA.
Gay Douching Myths
Just for fun, I thought it would be helpful to list out several common myths associated with gay men who douche. Some you may have heard of. Others, maybe not.
- Men who douche are effeminate
- Versatile guys don’t use enemas
- Guys with brown eyes only need to douche
- Douching isn’t really an anal activity
- If you douche, it means you’re are a total bottom
Gay Men and Douching Poll
I recognize this is a sensitive topic so instead of asking you to chime in using comments, I’m going to put up a poll on gay men, enemas and douching.
It’s completely 100% anonymous so I hope you partake.
The process of preparing to bottom takes time and effort. Never rush the douching process. If a guy contacts you to ride him at the last minute, always remember that you’ll need time to clean.
I hope you found this guide useful. Please LIKE us on Facebook and share on other social media platforms!
The Healthy Bear: Guide to Douching (2015)
Enema Use Among Men Who Have Sex with Men. U.S. National Library of Medicine. NHS (2014)