Signs you’ve moved past an ex
Not all difficult relationships are the same, but many share similar qualities. These include painful emotions that distort our ability to see things as they are instead of how we wish them to be.
This leads to confusion, which complicates the picture even more. When you're struggling in a relationship that's disintegrating, it's normal to feel “out of it” like you're living a nightmare.
Once the breakup happens, time moves super slow. Because you're still hurt, it might take all you've got not to run back to the man you were with.
But if you can hang in there and lean into your systems of support (friends, family), the clouds will eventually part, allowing rays of sunshine to come piercing through.
Here are seven signs that show you're on the road to healing, and ready to return back to a relationship you deserve. Should you read this and recognize you haven't yet hit all the milestones, consider it a gift.
That's because the journey on the path to recovery is a lesson all by itself. Remember, when we love deeply, we hurt deeply.
1. You feel attractive again
In difficult relationships, compliments and encouragement usually are in short supply. Depending upon the dynamic, they might have been completely absent.
Over the course of time, this can damage self-esteem. In turn, you may be left feeling less attractive or confident in the weeks and months that follow a breakup.
After several weeks have passed and your sadness lessens, you'll become more aware of how people are responding to you.
You'll be open to their support and feel good about the positive energy coming your way. With each new day, you'll realize (and accept) you are attractive after all.
2. You’ll be attracted to others
Do you tell your friends things like “All the good ones are off the market” or “I'm going to be alone forever?” You wouldn't be alone.
But as you begin to get out more and feel lighter – without toxic baggage – you'll realize the tape playing in your mind was just fear.
Good people are everywhere, each holding unique gifts. Yes, we all come with baggage, and some people look like models, but maybe that's not such a bad thing?
As you open your heart again, you'll practice self-compassion. You'll also learn to see the glitches in others as human.
3. You’ll enjoy your interests
It’s hard to feel connected to hobbies and interests when you’re emotionally depleted by a breakup. But once a bad relationship ends, something magical happens.
You'll begin to rediscover your favorite pastimes and notice an uptick in creativity. You'll want to learn more, engage in your interests and discover new ones. The more active you become with these, the more inspired you'll feel.
4. You’re back with your gang
Many people in difficult relationships isolate. The main reason is not wanting to inflict your pain and suffering on others. If truth be told, the endless discussion of our drama drives folks away.
That said, once some time has passed, don’t be afraid to reach out and reconnect. Most of your friends will embrace you with open arms. Even if you haven’t spoken in some time, they still are there for you.
As the healing process continues, you’ll notice the strength of your friendships will intensify.
5. You feel healthier
The most powerful affirmation from the universe that you made the right decision to break things off is a decrease in stress. Over time, your sleep will improve, too. You may even drop or gain weight, depending upon your emotional relationship with food.
As your self-esteem starts to heal, your energy will rise. In turn, this will empower you to do things like hitting the gym, go for a run or take a long walk. These are all signs of better health.
6. You’re open to romance again
Back when you were with your ex, romantic movies, songs, and even books probably made you feel blue because they spotlighted the absence of intimacy in your relationship.
Now that you are unattached (and the initial crush of pain passes) you can watch romantic movies as you wish or listen to love songs that make you dream about the future.
You may even start to fantasize about what it's like to love again. This is one of the healthy signs you are on the path to healing and open to someone new.
7. Deep inside, you feel hope
Before the breakup, your future probably seemed lonely and gloomy. Now on the mend, you start to remember what it's like to enjoy being alone. You also become reconnected with an inner-peace that affirms things will be OK.
Your daily rhythm picks up and somehow, you know you are on the right track. You make healthier, smarter choices. You grow in hope with each new day.