Red Flags She's Not Relationship Ready
Are you casually dating a girl right that you like but are concerned about some of her behaviors? Is it hard to discern if this person's pros outweigh their cons? Finally, is there a nagging voice inside your head that keeps telling you – see how it goes and be careful?
If you answered yes to these questions, you wouldn’t be alone. When you hit it off with someone new, it’s only natural to want to see how things play out. Plus, it's easy to discount what seems like small stuff when the two of you are having fun.
Is there really anyway of knowing if the woman you like is relationship material? If so, then what are the signs?
What follows are seven red flags that strongly suggest that girl you dig is NOT relationship ready.
Some of these points may seem obvious while others will cause you to pause and reflect. Read them all in order to fully absorb their deeper meaning.
Are you ready? Let’s jump right in!
1. She frequently parties
If that girl you like frequently parties, substances from any drug that is part of the alphabet, she’s not relationship ready. Period – end of story. Underline the word frequently.
That may be hard to hear but it’s true. People who regularly sniff, snort and/or inhale often do so to medicate to emotional pain. That’s just not a recipe for a successful relationship – no matter how hot she is.
And what if she “just smokes pot?” Sorry, but if it’s a daily thing – difficult as it might be to hear this – she’s checking out of reality and not checking into you.
2. Drinking is part of her daily routine
Having a drink here or there is OK but if that girl you like needs to drink as part of her daily routine, there’s a good chance something else going on. Bear in mind that she needs alcohol in order to be with herself, she’s going to need it to be with you.
Daily, regular alcohol use that goes beyond social norms could be a sign of addiction. In fact, it’s one of the main reasons relationships don’t survive for the long term. The key phrase here is drinking is part of her daily routine.
3. She doesn’t know how to spend time with you alone
Have you noticed that the girl you are casually seeing seems to need to be around others – all the time? When you have tried to get her to chill out with you and relax alone, does she seem uncomfortable? Is there a vibe you are picking up on him that suggests she thrives on the attention of others?
When you run across a person who can’t be with themselves, it’s a surefire sign she’s battling inner demons. How can she be comfortable with you if she’s not comfortable with herself?
4. She doesn’t take care of her home
When you have visited her home, does it pretty much look like a train wreck? Have you noticed that she doesn’t take the time – ever – to clean or organize her living space? Is her bed perpetually unmade? Is she past the age of 30 but still living like a teenager?
We hate to break it to you but these are all strong indicators of a person who is not relationship ready. Why? Because she apparently thinks her mother or some other person is going to magically swoop in and take care of her. Do you really want to be the guy to step into that role?
5. Can’t tune into you
Does the girl you like seem to struggle with tuning into your needs. On the flipside, does she regularly use phrases like: I want, I need …?
As part of ongoing dialogue with her, do your needs ever get considered? If the answer is no, read what follows carefully.
People who are consumed with their own needs and completely oblivious to the needs of others, including yours, are major narcissists. We do not use that phrase lightly.
Narcissism is a serious personality disorder that is all about being devoid of a “chip” that allows a person to empathize or sympathize. If she can’t be attentive to your needs now, what makes you think she will be able to so in the future?
Look at the totality of behaviors, including what’s happening (or not happening) in the bedroom. For example, if she’s a pillow princess – run for the hills.
6. He’s super indecisive
Have you found that the girl that you are eying struggles with decision making? Have you noticed that she has difficulty making even the smallest of choices – like where to go for dinner or what movie to see?
Having moments of indecision from time to time is normal however, if she’s constantly in a state of suspended animation because she can’t decide anything, you should proceed with caution.
There’s a good chance this person is codependent and therefore unable to make decisions on her own.
7. She never reaches for her wallet
This one is a biggie but is often overlooked. Going on out dates can sometimes mean having to navigate through uncomfortable moments – like who is paying for dinner, coffee, etc. Most guys will suggest a 50/50 split. And still others might opt for the traditional, “I’ve got this one and you can take care of the next.”
Both are cool, right?
Sure but… if the girl you like never seems to reach for her wallet, even for the smallest of things, consider it a major red flag.
People who expect others to pay for their way often have serious entitlement issues.
You have to ask yourself – if it’s like this now – what will it be like if things get serious?
The world of dating and relationships can often be daunting. This is particularly true during the initial stages of a courtship, where everything seems wonderful and possible.
But if you listen to your inner voice while seeing the guy for who she is rather than what you want her to be, you will save a great deal of time and energy in the long run.
Someone special is out there – just waiting to be met. However, if you are tied up with a person who isn't relationship ready, you might just miss that opportunity to meet Ms. Right.