Till Debt Do Us Part
Do you know what’s in your lover’s wallet?
Dating can be hard for many reasons. And finding someone to settle down with can be a trial, but then finding the right time and path to settle down with that person is even harder. But a new study tells us that after couples merged their lives with each other, one part of the couple often learns new info never known before.
In this vein, I’m reminded of a storyline from mid-2000s show How I Met Your Mother. While that show will go down in infamy for its controversial ending, the majority of its run was a home run. The show gave us funny yet still realistic storylines about late 20-somethings maturing and settling down into “adult life.” The biggest examples of that were the couple Lily and Marshall. And when the two started down the path of getting married, after years of being a couple, Marshall found out that Lily was thousands of dollars in debt. And now, Marshall was too.
This is a story that is all too real for many couples, according to a new study sponsored by SelfLender. The new survey asked 2,000 U.S. adults about their finances, debts, and communication to lovers. Turns out, nearly a quarter of respondents (24%) have lied to a new partner about their level of debt.
The survey also found that many people were lying about their financial situations in general, according to Study Finds. Three in 10 respondents say they lied about their annual salaries, and more than 25% admitted to hiding their spending habits from their partners.
Survey respondents then explained their thoughts on finances and how it affects feelings of attraction and interest when dating. 14% said that credit card debt over $10,00 was a big red flag. Also, it looks like student loan debt was more acceptable than credit card debt as 35% said so.
But that’s not all. 46% of respondents said that a “cheap” date was a major turnoff. Plus, 40% shared that the inability to keep a stable job was also a turnoff.
Debt & Dating
With all of these negative feelings around dating someone with bad finances and heaps of debt, it’s understandable that people decided to wait on sharing that info. In the end, the survey found that respondents waited on average six months before talking about their finances. Luckily, we’re not all like Lily, who waited until she got engaged.
“When it comes to long-term relationships, including marriages, studies have shown that money arguments are the biggest predictor for divorce, no matter the income bracket or financial situation of the couple in question,” said Self Lender CEO James Garvey in a statement. “Not discussing your financial situation might be fine for a short-term fling, but the data shows that if you want a long-term, committed relationship, you have to open up about your money and get on the same page financially.”
So at the end of the day, don’t be like Lily. It’s understandable if you want to hold off a bit before talking money, but don’t take a year or more to do it. Take your time, but remember to be open and honest to your lover. That’s what makes a strong and stable relationship at the end of the day.