Here's why you continue to be single
We'd be lying to ourselves if we said we didn't want to meet the right person and fall in love someday. And sure, getting with someone online for a quick hookup can be fun and hot, but when is it enough?
Maybe you've been hurt, maybe you've been stood up one too many times, or maybe you've just met too many flakes along the way that you've become one as well.
But it's those nights that we're alone what we start to wonder and think—will I ever meet someone? We've become so isolated and bitter that we no longer have a filter. We say what we want when we want, and how we want.
But did you ever stop and think that your approach to dating is the very thing that's keeping you single? It's easy to look at external factors when it comes to our dating woes. The hard thing is to look inward – and assess our own behaviors.
Here is the breakdown of 10 things that you might be doing to kill any chance of a relationship in the cradle. Some of these may be obvious. Other points may make you pause and reflect. Read them all in order to fully absorb their deeper meaning.
1) Shutting Out New Opportunities
It's funny, the lonelier we are, the smaller and smaller our worlds become. Being out of touch with others means abandoning the most human part of ourselves – it's the part that drives us to connect, to strive for bigger things and to ultimately to grow into the biggest, most magnanimous versions of the people we’re all capable of becoming.
Open yourself up and get out of your comfort zone.
2) Falling For Every Girl You Date
Before you could meet “the one”, you're going to have to go on many dates. Like it or not that's just where we're at now in the dating world. Sometimes you'll hit it off, sometimes you won't. There will even be a time where you think you hit it off, but he doesn't feel that way. That's okay.
Falling for her before even getting to know the person makes you come off as clingy and desperate. There's nothing wrong with wanting to fall in love. But falling for her right away could scare them off. So stop falling for every gal you meet, enjoy the dating life. It's not easy, but the end results are well worth it.
3) Being Cocky
Be confident, not cocky! There's nothing more sickening than a guy who can't shut up about himself. It doesn't matter how good looking you are or think you are– no one cares that you hit the gym three times a day: it's a huge turn-off and is a great way to keep you single.
Yes, be confident. But don't be a braggart.
4) Asking For Her Private Pics
If you're looking for something real, something truly meaningful. Don't ask for private pics. Additionally, don't start off asking about “favorite positions” and the like. Even as a joke. That conversation can turn upside down fast once you go there.
Save that talk for Blendr or whatever dating app you have. Even if you want to know how she likes getting it on, don't start things off with that vibe. Just wait to experience it for yourself, should things go there. When it comes to love, none of that should matter.
5) Talking About Your Ex
No one wants to hear about your ex. At least not someone that you're talking to or dating. That's a conversation you'll want to hold off on till the timing is right.
By continuing to talk about your ex, your letting the new gal know you aren't relationship ready (not even a little).
6) Talking About Marriage
Stop being that guy who could only talk about marriage. You have the whole world in front of you–start enjoying it. You'll never find the person you're looking for if you don't know when to draw the line.
It's okay to let her know that you are open to marriage, just have your limits when doing so.
7) Being On Your Phone
Understand when to put your phone down. Your messages will still be there. If you're hanging out with a girl (or on a date) and can't seem to lay off the phone, you probably should just call it a night.
You don't need to Snapchat, check social media or text the whole time you both are together. You could make her feel uncomfortable or that her time is unwanted.
8) Complaining About Life
It's important that you have an open line of communication where you're able to be yourself when you're both together. But there's a difference between talking about having a bad day and just flat out complaining about everything wrong in your life.
Keep in mind, you're not together, that will get annoying. You have to have that balance on what's appropriate and what's not. Save your life issues for your friends.
9) Following Her on All Social Media Platforms
Stop asking girls that you like or want to date to follow you on social media. Leave some mystery to dating. The minute you start following her on any media platforms, you open up a door.
You'll start checking her every move or liking every photo that she posts. By doing this, you'll come off as an online stalker and make A LOT of red flags go up. You don't want that, do you?
10) Looking for Flaws
The final suggestion is simply this – avoid looking for her flaws. Here, I’m talking about not creating a mental list of everything that’s wrong with her. The only thing this does is sabotage any real chance of success and kills the potential for something more in the future.
I’m not saying you should overlook obvious things. For example, if she’s rude to people or extremely negative. But on the flipside, don’t write her off because she doesn’t have a perfect bod or struggles with depression.
All of us are imperfect. Be open to what’s positive about her and work from there. You’d be surprised at how this approach creates meaningful change on the dating front.
