Are We Moving Closer To Finding Evidence of Gay Cavemen?

Just how artsy were they?

Archeologists have made an amazing discovery. During the late Paleolithic period, which began 2.6 million years ago, cavemen apparently created the world’s oldest known paintings.

Yes – you read that correctly. Cavemen painted.

But there is more. Scientists believe they had an artistic sense similar to that of man today. Don’t take our word for it. Head on over to the journal Science to see for yourself.

This news is noteworthy because it appears to demonstrate that Ice Age cave art, including pictures of animals, dots, and geometric objects – must have been made by Neanderthals; a related species to Homo sapiens, and Europe's sole human inhabitants at the time.

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Pre-historic era of mesopotamia: Between 65,000 BC and 35,000 BC northern Iraq was home to a Neanderthal culture, archaeological remains of which have been discovered at Shanidar Cave. This same region is also the location of a number of pre-Neolithic cemeteries, dating from approximately 11,000 BC. Since approximately 10,000 BC, Iraq (alongside Asia Minor and The Levant) was one of centres of a Caucasoid Neolithic culture (known as Pre-Pottery Neolithic A) where agriculture and cattle breeding appeared for the first time in the world. The following Neolithic period (PPNB) is represented by rectangular houses. At the time of the pre-pottery Neolithic, people used vessels made of stone, gypsum and burnt lime (Vaisselle blanche). Finds of obsidian tools from Anatolia are evidences of early trade relations. Further important sites of human advancement were Jarmo (circa 7100 BC), the Halaf culture and Ubaid period (between 6500 BC and 3800 BC). These periods show ever-increasing levels of advancement in agriculture, tool-making and architecture.

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In the past, GPB explored the idea of what it might have been like to be a gay caveman half a million years ago. But in that post, we had very little evidence of homosexuality to go on.

After all, finding “near-human” remains from the Paleolithic is extremely difficult.

But now that researchers at the University of Southampton and the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology have made this discovery, we can’t help but wonder about the possibilities.

Cave Art

According to the Science piece, the paintings in three Spanish caves were created more than 64,000 years ago. That’s a full 20,000 years before modern humans arrived in Europe.

If the findings are to be believed (and there is no reason for them not to be) this means that the cavemen not only knew how to create paint – but they also knew how to mix and match.

Dr. Chris Standish, an archaeologist at the University of Southampton and [joint] author of the research said the following in a press release:

“This is an incredibly exciting discovery which suggests Neanderthals were much more sophisticated than is popularly believed!”

Here at GPB, all we can say is – indeed! In fact, the amazement around the paintings got us to thinking – what if one of those cave artists was gay? Is it that hard to imagine?

Not to be stereotypical but …

Who else would have the fashion sense to swirl around pigments and create art using geometric shapes? If you look closely at the paintings, you can almost make out the faint imagery of men – hot men baby!

And if that’s true – this could be a sign of male body worship during the Paleolithic! Shoot, there could have been tops, bottoms, and vers types running around much of pre-Europe.

gay cavemen

Hey man, back then – folks weren’t concerned with public opinion polls or religion. And they certainly didn’t give two-hoots about guilt or shame.

Nope, instead, they were probably more carnal – behaving much like Roman soldiers did in the era of volunteer bottoms. Now think about this for a minute, OK?

If you were alive during the Paleolithic period and saw a bunch of hot, muscled up cavemen parading around with massive dongs, wouldn’t you be turned on? Maybe even ride one?

If so, then why wouldn’t artistic cave-gays want the same thing? For that matter, why wouldn’t they take to the walls and paint murals of their favorite tricks?

Remember, they couldn’t snap pictures or vids back then. No sir, they had only the caves to create memories.

Did they pleasure themselves with their paintings? Was this a form of early homoerotic art?

At the end of the day, we still don’t know much about homosexuality and early man. But if archeologists keep making findings like they did in the Spanish caves, it’s only a matter of time.

Main photo credit: Caveman World