Bi People & Bi-Erasure
Male bisexuality finally gets the visibility it deserves.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where bisexuality is often ignored or discredited. Whenever someone brings up the fact that they are bisexual, they are often talked down to. For instance, women who say they are bisexual often meet ridicule and the argument that they’re just experimenting before finding a man. Meanwhile, bisexual men are often mocked as being closeted gay men. Then you sprinkle on tropes like being sex-obsessed or villainous. Frankly, there’s a lot to unpack when it comes to bi-erasure in modern society.
As GLAAD writes on the matter, “Bisexual erasure or bisexual invisibility is a pervasive problem in which the existence or legitimacy of bisexuality (either in general or in regard to an individual) is questioned or denied outright.”
The LGBTQ organization then added:
“For example, two married women might spend time in community spaces dominated by lesbians. Perhaps one of the women is bisexual and objects to the assumption that she is a lesbian (i.e., when others call the two women a ‘lesbian couple’). However, every time she mentions this, others insist that she can’t really be bisexual or that her orientation doesn’t matter (perhaps with the subtext that she shouldn’t talk about it) now that she is partnered.”
The biphobia towards Bi men recently has been so shit and honestly, in MY LGBT+ history month?! How dare! So I’m bring back #BisexualMenExist for some much needed positivity! Drop a pic below with the hashtag and RT this thread! Allies, also RT! I’ll start! 💖💜💙 pic.twitter.com/BYl1D2hzvV
— Vaneet Mehta (@nintendomad888) February 24, 2020
#BisexualMenExist
But thankfully, one recent Twitter thread helped to put a face (or a 100) to the situation.
Earlier today, #BisexualMenExist trended online. The hashtag inspired many internet users to not only share pictures of themselves but also share truths about their lives as bisexual men.
“I struggled for a long time growing up as a queer male in the south with what I identified as,” wrote one Twitter user. “Ppl would say you’re just gay, you don’t really like girls. NOT TRUE. Quit putting down and pretending men who like BOTH don’t exist!”
Just Bc it is trending #BisexualMenExist!! I struggled for a long time growing up as a queer male in the south with what I identified as. Ppl would say you’re just gay, you don’t really like girls. NOT TRUE. Quit putting down and pretending men who like BOTH don’t exist! pic.twitter.com/I3WLF80mul
— LaQuanTa (@Q__TIP11) February 25, 2020
“No matter how masculine we are, no matter whether we are dating a man or woman, and we deserve to be seen. Just like everyone, we deserve to be loved,” wrote another.
#BisexualMenExist no matter how masculine we are, no matter whether we are dating a man or woman, and we deserve to be seen. Just like everyone, we deserve to be loved. pic.twitter.com/SdxG0RBwth
— R.K. Russell (@RKRelentless) February 25, 2020
Check out some of the faces and stories behind the #BisexualMenExist trend down below.
https://twitter.com/SteveFaciana/status/1232325661404139520?s=20
#BisexualMenExist saw this trending and i had to set the record straight ok 🥺 pic.twitter.com/tOKnULA2BP
— 𝕁𝕠𝕤𝕚𝕒𝕙 💫 (@waln0t) February 25, 2020
I struggled with imposter syndrome a lot that affects everything from how I dress to labeling my sexuality. But recently I’ve gotten to a point where I’m finally comfortable expressing myself 🤗 #BisexualMenExist pic.twitter.com/v5Oil6eMyM
— Other Dan 🔮 (@marbleplague) February 25, 2020
So happy that #bisexualmenexist is trending… here’s proof that I am alive pic.twitter.com/MPToAvXZ9s
— Tobin (@T_Dot1111) February 25, 2020
Joyfully reminding y'all that #BisexualMenExist and sometimes take selfies in trucks pic.twitter.com/iHbLr36BK2
— Karl Thorssen (@KThorssen) February 25, 2020
#BisexualMenExist and this one just got off work pic.twitter.com/K0WpsbUZ36
— commissions open 🙈 (he/him & she/her) (@brysnquinn) February 25, 2020
#BisexualMenExist (and some of us have wives 🥰) pic.twitter.com/rgxw7DyVfk
— Max Emmerson (@MaxEmmerson) February 25, 2020
Oooo existing is fun! #BisexualMenExist pic.twitter.com/2Fce5A4h5Z
— blizzb3ar 🔜 Pax East (@blizzb3ar) February 25, 2020
https://twitter.com/JoshuaRush/status/1232373738944942085?s=20
#BisexualMenExist Saw this trending , had to ✨💅🏽 pic.twitter.com/BhkKvuMCdF
— Edwin 💅🏽 (@theyhatedaboy) February 25, 2020
I'm real. I exist. I'm faithful. I matter to more people than I choose to believe. Still, no money in the world or change in time will stop me from making fun of myself. #BisexualMenExist #StillBisexual pic.twitter.com/WsG0EA7I30
— Jordan 💖💜💙 (@escapade_94) February 24, 2020
#BisexualMenExist honey 💖💜💙 Thank u for bringing this back! pic.twitter.com/BaVlAhoKGO
— henry ✷ (@404boyfriend) February 24, 2020
It’s frightening to discuss. Few women want to have sex with a Bi-man. We are clearly just gay and probably have STIs. Gay men just patronise you and suggest you’re just in denial and “in transition” summoning the courage to come out as gay. Some gay men are even repulsed by our liking for sex with women. Women are repulsed by our love of man-sex. And as for “straight” men… well, are you competition in getting their girl or are you just after them (don’t kid yourself mate). Add to which tired old tropes like we are just sexually greedy or promiscuous. The message is – don’t come out as Bi… under no circumstances. Dangerous – I suspect a lot of bi men have to live a gay life because no woman wants them. In that case their gay lovers are simply “useful” and not treasured. Sad.
I’ve met a few bisexual men. I’ve slept with many of my friends. If we lived together I didn’t stop him from having sex with a female. But, let me tell you they had more fun with me and I was told by these friends that when we had sex they loved it because when we had sex they loved how they was in control. They liked trying different things. Most of my bi friends when there “girlfriends” wouldn’t do certain things during there sexual fun. These guys came over to my place and would tell me what they wouldn’t do. I told them I’m here if you want me. Then the fun began I did everything that there girlfriends wouldn’t do. I loved it when they would come over night after night. They said having sex with a guy like me was REALLY WILD. I know I turned them on and my friends loved having sex with me because I told them they didn’t have to wear a condom and a lot of them liked it with me because I either swallow there load or I let them cum deep inside of me.